Cancer

The wife answered the phone. “You have cancer,” said the husband. “Do I have cancer or do you have cancer?” the wife said. She had just woken up and was confused. “We both have cancer,” the husband said. “What about Ignatio?” the wife said. Ignatio was the pet iguana. “Ignatio still has cancer,” the husband said. “You know that.”

The doorbell rang. The wife went to the door. It was a group of kids. Ten kids. And one adult. “All these kids have cancer,” the adult said.

“Do you have cancer?” the wife said.

“What the fuck do you think?” the adult said. “Yeah. I have cancer.”

The wife went back to the phone. “Your mom has cancer,” the husband said.

“My toothbrush has cancer,” the wife said, and got stomach cancer. “I just got stomach cancer.”