HIKIKOMORI

< by ellen kennedy and tao lin >

dear ellen

a depressed ugly fish sits listening to music. the music comes out of the computer. the ugly fish stares at itunes.

the depressed ugly fish notices there are three kinds of love songs.

1. love songs about how great their partner is and how much they love them.

2. love songs about how they are sorry for hurting their partner and want another chance.

3. love songs about how life is sad and people are disappointing.

the depressed ugly fish notices that singers who sing the first love song almost always also sing the second love song. and singers who sing the third love song almost never sing the first or second love song. the depressed ugly fish thinks about itself. the depressed ugly fish thinks it would only ever sing the third love song. the depressed ugly fish creates two playlists on itunes. all the bands are separated into the ones that write the first and second love songs and ones that write the third love song. eight hours have passed. it is 6 a.m. the ugly fish stares at the time on the computer. the ugly fish hears itself screaming in despair inside its head. it opens its mouth. it makes a very small noise. the noise sounds like a deaf elderly ant with cataracts screaming in agony while running away from an obese, slow-moving elderly cockroach that is blind.

tao

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